Pretend?
by Vandrad-a3
Summary: What if Naru never stopped Mutsumi's PRETEND wedding and something happend.
1. 1

Disclaimer: I do not own Love Hina.

**_Pretend?_**

Chapter1:

_**"Marriage" is such a strong word**_

**_Thoughts: _**'peanut butter'

**_Speech: _** "jelly time"

Author: Well this story takes place when Mutsumi lost her memory. Keitaro and Naru try to help Mutsumi to regain her memory. They go through out the day playing as they did as children. Then Mutsumi asks Keitaro if he would marry her he says yes thinking it just pretend marriage. What if Naru did not interrupt the wedding? The wedding goes on as planned and everything is fine until...

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Keitaro and Mutsumi are at their 'pretend' reception eating and having fun

"Kei-kun you have made me the happiest girl in the world!" said Mutsumi. "And you have made me the happiest guy in the world." says Keitaro. _'Wonder when I can say those words to Naru and with out being the first man to reach orbit without a rocket?'_

"Hurry kei-kun we don't want to be late to the reception!" Mutsumi say's joyfully. "Wow you're parents went al out on this" added Keitaro with a slight chuckle _'wonder how the wedding would be if it was for real?'_ "My parents like to spoil me when they can. They are one of the best parents anyone could have" said Mutsumi.

They left to their rooms to change (Keitaro insisted that that he wasn't ready to change with a girl in the same room. Much to Mutsumi disappointment ).

Mean while with Mutsumi's mom Natsumi

"NANI! So you're telling me that you are a real priest"

"uh…yeah. You said you needed some one to be a priest. So I thought you meant for a wedding? So I thought and you never said otherwise" says John the priest

"I thought you knew about my daughters condition?"

"What condition"

Keitaro was in complete shock over the news he just heard! From Naru

"You're telling me you're Mitsumi's parents did it for real. By GOD I thought they were just pretending. Come on it was just a pretend wedding. There is no way they really did it. You are just pulling my leg."

"No for real they paid for it and every thing" said Naru, who was starting to get annoyed by Keitaro.

"Here I thought Mitsumi was talking about a pretend party. You now with just her family until she remembers, but until then I will have to play the part as her new husband. Hahahaha never thought I would be saying something like that for real." Stated Keitaro with a small chuckle

" Just remember that I will keep an eye on you so you don't do anything perverted. DO I make myself clear. Don't get any ideas because remember this is just a pretend wedding nothing more, no perverted things going on." Said Naru with a vein almost bursting on her fore head.

"John how long have you lived in this town?" asked Natsumi. "Well about 12 years or so," Said John the priest

"And how long have you known my family," stated Natsumi with a hint of anger in her voice

"Since I moved here, you were the ones who threw me a party and gave me **_a lot_** of watermelons. Your family is of the nicest family I have ever known."

"John how much time do you spend around my family"

"Well I see you every Saturday for cards at your house, and I take care of your kids on Thursday. So I say a pretty good amount of time."

"THEN WHY CANT YOU NOT KNOW ABOUT MY DAUGHTERS CONDITION! You were there when I told the town about this idea." She said in a voice that could scare Michael Jackson back to being black.

"Well I really had to go, so when you started talking I went to the restroom" he said almost wetting himself.

"So your telling me is that the reason my daughter is married is because you couldn't hold it"

"Ye.e.s. Look on the bright side I hear that the groom is a good man" said John who was trying to be able to get out of this alive.

"THAT IS NOT THE POINT!" said Natsumi while punching him to some where far far away

(A/N: I would hate live in a world that you could be punched into orbit for being an idiot b/c I would be dead by now)

"S O R R Y!" is all could be hear from the now flying man

'That felt so good. I should do that more often, but now I have to tell Keitaro of our little problem' thought Natsumi with her hung low 'this will be very interesting, wonder how Naru will take this.' After taking a few steps ' O CRAP NARU'


	2. 2

Disclaimer: I do not own Love Hina.

_**Pretend?**_

Chapter 2: **_DECISIONS_**

**_Thoughts: _**'peanut butter'

**_Speech: _** "jelly time"

(A/N: I suck I know that. For some reason I cannot get going and write this fic. Well thanks for the reviews and I shall try to use your suggestion in this story.)

We find ourselves in a 175 year old Japanese mansion. This giant building had enough rooms that it could match the Hinata all girls dorm and more. All the rooms were very spacious and could easily hold five people comfortably. Through this age of modernization the building kept its elegant look to it. The many walls filled with historic hand painted drawings ranging from a young gorgeous woman to the beauty of the sunset. Any true lover of history would be on the floor with seizure because of so much history stuffed into this building. For its age the building was in very good condition. This mansion belonged to none other than Mutsumi's family. The building was passed to eldest child of the next generation and had been done so from its being built.

In the court yard of the building we find almost every one who lived in the town. Including our favorite girls dorm manager Keitaro who at the moment is trying to not go on a rampage through all the history surrounding him. 'Man I need to ask Mutsumi if I could back here when this is all over.' Soon after his stomach reminded him of his original mission. When reaching the table he sweat dropped because before him was every dish known to man that included watermelon. 'God help any one that came here that is allergic to watermelon. Anyways now its time to fill my belly with food. Oh GOD I am starting to sound like Su.' After the chill down his back subsided he started to eat. After sufficiently stuffing himself he allowed his eyes to wonder. 'WOW Naru was right her parents went all out on this thing.'

The entire courtyard looked as if it jumped back into the time of the Roman power with the addition of many turtle statues. Giant pillars were holding up the major tent that covered the dance floor, the food (very important), and the Keitaro's family that is 'aunt' Haruka, Mutsumi's family surprisingly (that family is huge! Poor woman) , and of course Keitaro and Mutsumi.

The smaller pillars were holding up the smaller tents. The tents had a clay color look to them to give of the impression of a real roof. Witch was covering the rest of the town with smaller tents. The Roman them was picked out by Mutsumi herself because she the statues.

As Natsumi enters the courtyard after her talk with a certain priest she spots Keitaro and makes her way towards him. Her thoughts are focused on two people and there current situation. 'I wonder how he is going to react to this? He'll probably faint and wake up not believing its an think it was a dream. Yeah that's sounds about right knowing Keitaro's.

When she gets to Keitaro she asks for him to follow her. Once inside a random room she takes a breath and then…

"Keitaro so are you having a good time" said Natsumi with a weak smile 'better take this slowly'

"Yeah, who wouldn't"

"And Thank you again for helping my daughter it must be a bother to do this"

"No problem, I am having a fun time doing this any ways."

"That's good to hear." She pauses and gulps. "So Keitaro what do you think of Mutsumi."

"Uh … well she is a sweat girl that any guy would love to have and I am sure it will not be to long before she finds someone" Keitaro said with a strong blush on his face.

"So what would you say if you really were married to Mutsumi." Natsumi said while looking at the ground waiting for him to faint, but it never came. When she looked up Keitaro was paler than a ghost. "Um Keitaro" she said snapping her fingers in front of him.

"Huh I though you just said I was really married to Mutsumi." Keitaro said with a creepy smile

"I did"

"O.." Well can I ask you for a favor and then I am good to go"

"OK, What is it". Then she hears a click and sees a gun"

"Here I want you to shoot me between the eyes"

"Keitaro are you.."

"You are saving me from a gruesome death. Believe me If Motoko or Nauru hear of this", "Lets just say I better like eating out of a straw"

"Come on Keitaro, you don't have to exaggerate"

"NANI, have you seen them when I run around. I can guarantee that here will be a whole in the roof within 10 minutes"

"Keitaro be a man about this"

"Alright I will but if you excuse me for a minute, I will be right back"

He leaves the room and after five minutes he comes back with his luggage.

"Alright make the announcement in 10 minutes, by that time, I should be at the airport. I don't know where I am safe or when I will be back, but as long as I am far for away from things two, I will be safe I Hope "Keitaro says and is about to leave when….

Natsumi's had it, she can't take it.

"KEITARO URASHIMA SIT DOWN!"

"Yes ma'm" which he promptly sit down

"First of all, how do you think Mutsumi's going to feel when she notices that you're gone and how will this help her condition"

"Well I never thought…"

"That's right, you are only thinking of yourself, and secondly, what makes you think Naru won't follow you."

"Ahh. I really didn't think about that" Inside his head 'GOD I hate you with a passion o so very much and I promise you will pay'

GOD has now fallen out of his chair laughing saying "this is the best job in the world"


	3. 3

Disclaimer: I do not own Love Hina.

_**Pretend?**_

Chapter3:

_**O CRAP!!**_

_**Thoughts:**___'peanut butter'

_**Speech:**___"jelly time"

Author note: I have been away for a long time (there will be no explanations of why) and to help start moving this story along again I am going to write one or two scenes in each chapter until further notice. If that is not what you want then tough. Hate me if you like, but this is how I am going to write it.

Keitaro just sat there in his chair in absolute horror with a pinch of confused joy. Keitaro was in an interesting situation here. First, he had the fear of his two possible executioners Motoko and the even closer Naru. Of course this is the Naru of his awkward affection, the woman that was as certainly as confused of her own feelings towards him. Second, he had this twinge of joy any man would he would by the chance to have a date with a beautiful young woman. (To put it simply how would any of you guys react to having a date with Meagan Fox? Much less the chance to marry her.)

His mind was in a fury that he only felt when he took the Tokyo University test, but that wasn't such a pleasant thought because he only has failed this test up to this point in his life. Guys (me included) are at awe and mystified by their female counterpart that we are so eagerly chasing. The mind and body and soul of any women to a man can only be symbolized by one thing _**?**_, yes a question mark.

Let's now peek into the mind of our favorite all girls dorm landlord.

'O man how am I going to survive this horrid day and not end up in a coffin! How can I avoid a Motoko castration and a Naru punch of death?' (The tears of a love, never known never felt, begin to build in his eyes and heart yet not enough to flow down their path) 'Naru… Naru… how I going to be with you now? There's no chance now, even though it was a small chance, but now that can't happen. We'll at least not right now. I can't leave Mutsumi she is going through so much, with her memory and all. Would it be so bad to be married to her… no no we can get this fixed! Yeah that's what we'll do after her memory comes back!' Thought Keitaro's poor little mind.

Natsumi mean while was judging Keitaro seeing what would be his reaction after this information was thoroughly digested. "Hmm Keitaro…"

"Yes? O sorry I am just trying to find a way to survive this mess and I think I know what I am going to do, but I'm not sure if it going to work out?" said a very stressed and lost Keitaro

"We'll what's this miracle idea that won't lead to you to being beaten to death by Naru?" said a very curious Natsumi

"Were going to act like nothing has happened. We can use Mutsumi's memory lose for a while. That's the easy part now here is the trick… hmm that's all I got." Wise voice Keitaro said. The best he could of course

A now furious Natsumi blared "That's all you came up with after 15 minutes of thinking!" While simultaneously bashing him on head which would have normally killed normal men

"I don't usually have a plan to survive Naru and Motoko. I usually just do." He said between the blows

"Pray that they don't find out especially Naru no telling how much pain shell put you through. Even you can handle only so much."

After a few moments of Natsumi venting her frustration on Keitaro she stopped.

"At least you don't hit as hard as Naru or Motoko…" a sudden whack to his head stopped Keitaro's from finishing his sentence.

"OK we are going to tell everyone we went to get more watermelons they should by that"

"Yes of course I am just relieved that Naru didn't find out about this whole mess." Keitaro shivered at that thought

Elsewhere in the roman/turtle themed "pretend" reception a certain individual was taking special interest of the absence of a certain "pretend" groom.

Presently Naru was in a furry over Keitaro's absence from the "pretend" reception. O how she had to have to repeat to herself over and over that this was a pretend reception. The reason of why this reception bothered her she chooses to ignore at this moment, for now.

'He better not have gone off and forget that he is supposed to be here to help Mutsumi recover her memories.' (that's the supposed reason of her agitation) 'I swear I will rip him a new a one if he doesn't get here soon and I mean soon!' said a fuming naru thought.

To a passer by this woman looked like you had just killed her dog…, and now she is coming after you to return the favor.

'I better go and look for him before he does something perverted to an innocent girl.' Naru thinks while she stomps of towards the front door of the mansion. On her way towards the front door she bumps into our favorite priest John.

'Man he looks like the pretend priest from Keitaro and Mutsumi's marriage ceremony that was performed for this pretend wedding. He did such a good job acting that I almost believed it was a real wedding. I wonder what he is doing over here? Let me say hi.' "Hi Mr. Priest!" Naru waved her hand in this welcoming gesture.

John did what any man would do after being sent into orbit shuttle less. He curled into the fettle position and screamed "don't hurt me! I am sorry I didn't know it was a pretend wedding. I won't pee at anymore town meeting I swear!" He almost broke out in tears

This through Naru off just a tad. "Umm mister priest are you ok? I won't hurt you"

"You won't?"

"No I won't hurt you now stand up."

"Ok" John said shakingly standing up.

"So mister priest what did you mean that you didn't know it was a pretend wedding?"

Something was nagging John in the back off his mind to run and run fast. He ignored it and said "Well it turned out that I accidently missed out on a tiny bit of information… umm that this was not supposed to be a real wedding."

"So that means kei…keit… Keitaro and Mutsumi are actually married?"

"As far as the Turtle city (I don't know the name of the city name can some one send me the name if they now) is concerned, yes." If John was an observant man he would have noticed two things first that Naru was getting red and she kept clinching her fist.

"And how did you accidently miss that this was not a real wedding?"

"Ah … well you see that while Natsumi was apparently explaining this pretend wedding out i…umm… I really had to use the restroom so I decided to go and I missed that little detail in the plans. Its actually a pretty funny story. Plus I hear that the groom is a good man so they should be happy togeeeeeeetttttttttttthhhhhhhhhhhhheeeeeeeeeeeeeeerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!!!" said/ a now screaming john who was the first man to break the sound barrior without a vehicle.

'O I bet Keitaro must have paid that priest to do this. Yes, that has to be it. I wont let you Keitaro have your pervert way with Mutsumi. You will be the second fastest man in the world right behind that stupid priest.' Thought a thoroughly pissed Naru

That's the end of this chapter I am hoping to have the next out on Monday


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